Life & Relationships

To the only single girl in her squad

Note: This blog I wrote a few years ago was originally published here.

Yes, I know how it feels—the awkwardness of being the only single around your friends. The imaginary painful stab in your gut the moment they do what girlfriends and boyfriends do. Seriously, do you have to act that way in front of me?

You’re with your friends hanging around some places just to bond, but their boyfriends make it odd. Often times, they unconsciously forget that you are there, yet they keep on exchanging sweet words or keep walking hand-in-hand giving you less space, eventually forgetting you’re there. You’re there by yourself at the table while they sit next to their special someone. Instead of girl talk with your friends, their boyfriends make everything uncomfortable. Your friends are now drifting off to their own worlds leaving you behind. That you have no choice but to reluctantly eat and digest your food alone, wishing you should have probably stayed home. It sometimes feels like you’re completely invisible.

Then you’ll end up thinking it’s okay because you’re happy for your friends who luckily found someone. And you’ll think that at least, she’s not as unfortunate as you. In the end, you’re going to torture yourself with unnecessary sad thoughts which can only make your situation worse; realizing that these people around you unintentionally make you even sadder.

You might get jealous, but that does not mean you have to dwell on it. Dismiss the pressure if ever all of your friends have someone who can finally hug them, send them sweet messages at night, and clasp their hands every single time. So what if your pillow is the only thing you can embrace, and only your mother sends you sweet texts? It does not make you the ugliest person, neither does it make you the most unfortunate girl ever born.  It just so happens that they simultaneously found their lovers, and you haven’t found yours yet. It doesn’t imply you won’t ever have one. Just because all of your friends aren’t single, that doesn’t automatically mean you need to find your own. Never ever force yourself to be involved in a relationship out of peer pressure.

He will come. Perhaps not now when your friends are happily committed, but you have to believe that that person you are looking for will definitely come. Good things take time, keep that in mind. He’s probably stuck with his friends who all have girlfriends just like you. Who knows? He may appear at the time when you least expect him.

Don’t compare your situation with what you see in your surroundings. Let your friends be happy for now even if they can’t promise to come with you in a party because they have a date later. Let them indulge the moment rather than thinking of only yourself. Friends always understand each other. And when the time comes you have to go on a date, too, they’ll be more than happy for you. Just you wait.

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