Mixed signals. It’s a common thing in dating, if I may say. There will come a time where we’ll meet a person who kind of shows interest to us, but actions often tell the other way around. It is frustrating and totally confusing, thinking if it’s all just in your head, not knowing how to actually respond to it. It’s not fun to be led on to somewhere with no clear vision.
I’m writing this post after talking to a friend (let’s call her Rose, not her real name) who asked me for advice about this. I mean, I am not in the position to actually talk about dating since I barely have experience but I do have met people who kept giving confusing signals, and I have friends who have dealt with it as well.
What are the examples of mixed signals?
- He’s been texting you for a while but then one day he leaves you unread, and then returns the next few days
- Tells you to stop dating other men because he doesn’t want to see you with someone else but doesn’t even take you out on a date
- Romantic gestures but not telling you why they’re doing it in the first place
- They keep checking on you when he’s not your boyfriend
- He acts so sweet with you while he’s active on dating apps
- Tells you “I don’t like to be in a relationship yet” but acts like an out-of-place possessive boyfriend
There are plenty of men doing this and I don’t know if they are even aware of it, but the point is, you need to stop thinking about it because it’s basically going nowhere.
PIN THIS FOR LATER
It’s not worth the stress
My friend, Janela, shares her thoughts on these kinds of guys, “Dealing with them is a waste of time. You end up thinking and thinking, ‘what does it mean?’ or ‘does it mean he likes me?’ and you’ll rant to your friends until it becomes a cycle whenever he gives you confusing signals.”
I know humans like solving puzzles, but spare yourself from guys who cannot even solve their own feelings for someone. People who give mixed signals may have their own reasons why they keep on doing it, but it’s really not worth your time, let alone your mental health. We may like analyzing things because we want to know the answers by ourselves, but know when to stop. Free yourself from overthinking so they won’t have the chance to play with your heart.
They’re not that interested at all
A hard to swallow pill, but mixed signals is a clear statement that he’s not really interested. They like you to a certain extent but there’s a higher chance they won’t go about it too seriously as much as you do. It’s kind of “I appreciate you, but not so much” signal. They are intentionally or unintentionally trying to keep you on the leash and pull you towards them when they want your attention.
Most of all, if he’s really into you, they will let you know transparently and honestly, and I believe we all deserve that.
They do it for an ego boost
“Over the years, I learned that if someone throws you curve balls it just means they’re playing with you. He’s only willing to go half-way. He’ll give you his attention but only during the times that it’s convenient for him. He’s just using you for your attention and for an ego boost,” shared Sherlenne, another good friend of mine.
When guys give you mixed signals, chances are they just feel better about when they know they have your time and attention. So don’t give them that, which I will explain further in the following paragraph.
You give them the relationship benefits
Based on my observation, the reason why people continue to give mixed signals is that we allow them to do so. We tend to give them the perks of being in a relationship without actually letting them know what their boundaries are.
Rose told me that her male best friend stops her from dating other men just because it makes him feel jealous. And for some unknown reasons, he’s not even pursuing her. To keep their friendship at peace, she doesn’t romantically engage with other guys which I think is wrong. She’s setting aside her own happiness just to not offend her possessive male friend. Men will keep doing this towards you if you continue letting them – put him in his place and don’t get fooled by his gestures.
You deserve better
I won’t explain this further but there is plenty of fish in the sea, much better than the guy who keeps on giving confusing actions. You can do better than deciphering everything he does. Remember that all the love you can give should be saved for someone who’s actually willing to be with you. Don’t let guys manipulate you, and have the courage to confront them to burst their bubble.
Have you encountered a man like this? Tell me your thoughts!