Life & Relationships

Things you can do for your partner based on their love language

love language ideas

Have you ever felt like you’ve been doing special things for your loved ones but they don’t seem to fully appreciate it? It’s disappointing, I know. Nobody likes their efforts to go down the drain, especially when it’s for someone special. But have you ever considered if these actions speak their love language?

Ask yourself: are these the things YOU love doing or things that YOUR PARTNER loves to receive?

If your answer is the first one, it’s most likely that your partner does not have the same love language as you do. It doesn’t mean he does not truly love you⁠—just that they want to feel loved differently.

What is love language and why it matters

Love language is basically a classification of how a person would like to be loved and how they express it. According to Dr. Gary Chapman, author of The Five Love Languages®, there are five love languages: Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time, and Physical Touch.

Learning your partner’s love language can help strengthen your relationship. This can be a challenge for new couples, but for long-term relationships, knowing how your partner wants to be loved should be a piece of cake. There are two things (in my opinion) that you can do to identify their love language.

  • First, try showing them different acts of love which I will share later, and observe how they will respond to each of them. Chances are, the act they’re happiest with shows their love language.
  • Another yet best option would be to have a heart-to-heart discussion about it and straightforwardly ask them how they’d like to be loved; make sure to tell them yours, too. That way, the couple would know how to improve the relationship by themselves.

Now, if you have already learned your partner’s love language and looking for things you can do for them, here’s a list that may help you.

Love language ideas

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Words of Affirmation – love shown by words; say things that you really mean not just for the sake of it

  • “I miss you every day”
  • “Thank you for sending me home”
  • “I really appreciate you:
  • “I am always here to support you”
  • “You can do it!”
  • “I feel lucky for finding you”
  • “Thank you for supporting me”
  • “Thank you for understanding me”
  • “I feel blessed to have you”
  • “You’re beautiful”
  • “You smell nice”
  • “Your smile makes my day brighter”
  • “You’re wonderful”

Acts of Service – love shown by doing something for your partner; only do things you really can

  • Give them a massage
  • Do the laundry for them
  • Wash the dishes
  • Help clean the house
  • Post a creative dedication card on social media
  • Do the grocery shopping
  • Cook them food
  • Drive them home
  • Help them with their work or homework
  • Order food for them

Receiving Gifts – love expressed by simple gifts; give your partners only the things they would appreciate and you can afford

  • Give them flowers
  • Send them packages
  • Buy them their favorite shirts/shoes
  • Be artsy⁠—give them love cards
  • Give them shopping vouchers
  • Surprise them with an adopted pet
  • Give them chocolates
  • Give them a box of makeup
  • Surprise them with a gaming console

Quality Time – love expressed by giving time and undivided attention

  • Regular date schedules
  • Out of town/country vacations
  • Watching a movie together
  • Watching Netflix together
  • Jogging in the morning together
  • Bake or cook together
  • Have a road trip
  • Have late night strolls
  • Initiate video calls if LDR

Physical Touch – love shown literally by physical touch; is he a hugger? Does he want a bit of PDA?

  • Give them hugs
  • Kiss them goodbye/good night
  • Hold their hand when you walk together
  • Kiss the top of their head
  • Hug them when you sleep
  • Do a slow dance with them
  • Cuddle with them
  • Massage their back

It’s not always about “I love yous”. Sometimes, it’s better that we express our love the way our partner wants to be loved. It’s a commitment and you need to meet halfway to make it really work.

Hope this helps! How do you want to be loved? Let me know in the comments!

(25) Comments

  1. These are some great suggestions. I love reading about love languages – once I discovered them I excitedly rattled them all of to my slightly alarmed boyfriend but I think it’s such an important way to maintain and truly understand relationships; as well as being a great way to properly communicate. Thank you for sharing this, I really enjoyed!

    Paige // Paige Eades

    1. I agree. Couples have to openly communicate with each other to set expecations/boundaries. I’m happy you liked it!

  2. There is so much truth to the love languages. Thank you for this guide ❤️

    1. You’re welcome! Thank you for reading.

  3. Love this and the timing for it couldn’t be better. I’ve found that being mindful about quite a few of these has really helped my partner & I to enjoy vs destroy each other during quarantine, lol.

    1. Hahaha great move 😂

  4. Em and Jess says:

    I love this, this is such a cute post! I remember doing the love language quiz a few years ago and I think my love language was quality time x

    1. This is completely true,great guide. “It’s a commitment and you need to meet halfway to make it really work…” Very wise💜💛💜💛

      1. Thank you for reading, Didi ❤

  5. Great post! Everyone has different needs, or in this case a different love language, and it’s important for any relationship to know what they are and how to cater to that specific language(s). x

    1. Correct. Thanks for reeading, Chrissy! ❤

  6. Love this! I think it’s so important to know what really means the most to your significant other (and makes doing something nice for them easier to narrow down lol)!

    1. Agreed! 😂😂😂

  7. This is lovely. There are so many ways you can show someone you love them depending on their own love language. For me it’s doing stuff around the house and kind words. I don’t need much.

  8. Great post, I love that you included examples too, so helpful!

    Anika | chaptersofmay.com

  9. a Life on a Dime says:

    This is great! I loved this book. I need to read it again and determine my kids’ love languages!

  10. So sweet! I enjoyed reading this post. I love simple and down to earth romance. I love my man to cook for me, help me with chores, and organise a picnic date for me. Hehehe.

    1. I’m a sucker for simple yet genuine romance! ❤

  11. loveemblogger says:

    These are really great tips! I love romantic gestures, they make me feel so warm inside. I also like to think that I am really cute, so always try to do things for my other half. Thank you for sharing these really sweet ideas!

    Em | http://www.loveemblog.com

  12. Thanks for this post! My boyfriend’s love language is receiving gifts yet he’s so difficult to buy gifts for – it’s such a struggle for me haha x

    Roni | myelevatedexistence.com

  13. My husband’s love language is quality time and mine is acts of service. We are in a long distance relationship, but we try our best to make it work. 🙂

    1. Ohh, I have experienced long distance, too and it really takes a lot of patience. Good for both of you to make it work!

  14. This is such a great post! I really need to do some sort of quiz to find out my love language. I’ve heard loads of people talk about it but never really looked into it!

  15. Nons Mshengu says:

    I am so interested in love languages so this was very great to read. I think it’s also so important to learn how to cater to your partners needs because you can do everything right but if you aren’t speaking to their needs , it’s easy for someone to feel unloved & unappreciated.

  16. I really enjoyed reading this – thanks, Queenie! 😀

    My love language is probably all of the above, but my partner’s is made up of acts of service and physical touch. It’s interesting to think that we all express our love in different ways!

    Bianca xx | missmonro.com

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