Life & Relationships

It’s time to get over someone you never even dated

getting over someone you never even dated

Guest post written by Brittany of Mind Beauty Simplicity Blog

Two years. That’s how long I was hung up on you. I don’t exactly know what it was that drew me to you, but I think it was the kindness I saw in your eyes. But I came to realize, I didn’t really know you all that well & I was creating the perfect person in my mind.

Friends told me to move on but I was determined to make you mine, to have you see just how amazing I am. But you never did.

Funny how the “almost relationships” are the ones that hit you the hardest. Not the 4-year high school relationship of your first love. But the one that could have been. The one that never had a beginning, those are the ones that seem to leave a mark.

Maybe it’s because the idea you created in your mind of them seems just so damn perfect. But in reality, they aren’t that person at all. And it’s like an evil game of “make you love me” that is addictive. Who knows.

But how can we truly get past this “relationship” and find someone more worthy? Here are 5 Tips On Getting Over Someone You Never Even Dated:

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Getting over someone you never event dated

Ask Yourself Why You Want Them So Badly

Sometimes I think we can create this perfect idea of a person in our minds, especially when we are desperate for a type of love. The key is to let go of that mentality & just go with the flow. Instead of making someone into who you wish to have, why not go find the person who truly is. It may take time, but you are going to waste even more time focusing on someone who clearly doesn’t want you back. Pinpoint what is drawing you to them in the first place. They may not be right for you anyway.

Stop Forcing Something That Isn’t Right

Like peaches, not everyone is going to find you amazing. Stop trying to make someone fall in love with you. Wouldn’t it be so much easier being with someone who makes loving you easy? Stop molding yourself into someone you think they will like. I remember I would pretend to like the music they listened to when in reality I hated it. If they don’t like you for who you are, move on!

Let Yourself Be Sad

Like any heartbreak, you still have to mourn the loss to properly move on. So, be sad. Listen to some cheesy love songs, write in your journal, talk about it with your friends & get those feelings out. You won’t get over them if you don’t treat them like a loss. Accept the experience as what it was & move on.

Related: Why you need to stop falling for his mixed signals

Don’t Contact Them

Don’t check their Facebook. Don’t message them asking them what they thought of the game last night. Don’t give them that leverage to keep messing with you. And you know, if they just send you a sweet message of “Happy Birthday Beautiful”, you are back in the game. So please, delete their number completely if you have to. Whatever it takes.

Know Your Worth

Understand you deserve better. That “relationship thing” you call affection was anything but that. You want someone who fights for you. Someone who puts effort into showing you off, expressing their feelings, and claiming you as theirs without hesitation. And you will. I did.

You have to gain this sense of self-love for yourself. When you are hung up with someone who isn’t the same about you, it can create these feelings of not being worthy. So gain that confidence back. And yes, I’m upset with myself for being hung up on the idea of someone for that long. But I learned a lot about myself & what I want in relationships from that experience. So, in a weird way, I’m grateful it happened, because it led me to my happy ending.

About the Writer

Brittany is a minimalist lifestyle blogger on Mind Beauty Simplicity who focuses on topics of intentional living and living with less. She also dabbled in lifestyle topics such as makeup, fashion & home decor with her own perspective to the mix.

 

(26) Comments

  1. Swarnali says:

    Very nice post.. And loved Brittany’s work..

  2. Painfully relatable 😂 I’m finally over him, but it took forever! Thank you for sharing!

  3. Oh my gosh, you’re so right. The “almost relationships” really are SO HARD to get over. I think it’s just that sense of what might have been and never knowing. These are great tips!

  4. Michelle says:

    This post made me think of this post from Matthew Hussey: https://www.howtogettheguy.com/other/how-to-get-over-someone-you-never-dated/

    All the best, Michelle (michellesclutterbox.com)

  5. […] It’s time to get over someone you never even dated […]

  6. Lovely post. very well written. Thanks for sharing.

  7. Yes! Love the last point about knowing your worth. So true!

  8. Oh yes, we’ve all been there! I think the ‘almost’ are often harder because we think of what COULD have been rather than the ‘actual’ ones where we know why they ended. Great post!

  9. I can relate so much to this! But like you said, it’s important to know your worth and move on with your life x

    Lucy | http://www.lucymary.co.uk

  10. I love this post, mostly because I have been in situations when I am the one holding onto someone I barely even know.

    Knowing our worth helps us learn to be intentional and conscious about the relationships we seek out/are in.
    Thanks for sharing!

  11. Really relatable post. I experienced something like this earlier this year and thank God I’m over it, I know my worth, I deleted his number and I stopped imagining a life with them.

  12. This was a really poignant read and all your points are so true. Knowing your own self-worth should never be underestimated. Great post!

  13. Damn, this is so true! I think with real relationships you know the harsh reality, but with someone you haven’t dated you’re not just breaking up with them but this idealised version of them too xx

  14. Good advice! Almost relationships stay on “almost”-level for a reason. It’s easy to build a massively romantic story in your head but that’s probably not 100% true. A few cute texts here and there are not what should be keeping you up at night. You deserve more!

  15. I love this. It always happenes that you make the person into something they aren’t, but it’s hard to snap out of it and to see them as they are.

  16. Such an interesting read and something I’d never really considered before! I have been in this position and thought I was crazy so it’s good to know it’s normal!

  17. I could relate so much to this post. I’ve been there before and I can’t help but think its because it felt unfinished and I’ll always wonder what if.

  18. “But I came to realize, I didn’t really know you all that well & I was creating the perfect person in my mind.”

    A very important thing to realize indeed; we should see a person for who they are an not who we want to see.

  19. OOF, this hit me hard! I used to really like this guy I NEVER officially dated, but we were ‘crushing’ on each other for like 2 years and I never got over it for the next 3 years when we stopped talking. Great post on how to handle it. I guess in the past I never really knew my self worth, glad I won’t have to go through that again!

    1. Thank you for reading! Glad you enjoyed this post. 🙂

  20. The ‘know your worth’ point is definitely true. Gain that confidence back, heartbreaks isn’t what we want but we definitely learn something from it. Like you said, it’ll lead to a happy ending and that’s what we all want 🙂 Thank you for sharing this great post!

    Shuana
    http://www.howivebeen.com

  21. I love this post!! I had an almost relationship around 10 years ago and sometimes I still find myself thinking about him and what the relationship would be like. I love your tips I am going to put them into practice.

  22. I can so relate to this post! So far I’ve only been in one “relationship,” and it lasted two weeks before he broke it off (right before Valentine’s Day… *sigh*). What I loved about him was the IDEA of being in love with someone, and it wasn’t actually about him. He and I enjoyed being friends, but we didn’t have the chemistry to make it as a couple. It was so hard but I had to choose to be sad and let him go because holding on hurt more than pursuing what was actually going to work in the end. I can’t wait for the day when it’ll be easy to love my significant other! <3

    1. That must have been really hard to finally let go. I’m glad you had enough courage to choose yourself above everything. I’m sure someone out there is for you!

      1. Yes it was quite challenging. I was better off in the long run so I’m thankful that I moved on! Yes I am too! 🙂

  23. Beautifully written and with great tips. It’s really important to somehow know your value in the midst of it all.

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