In one of my old posts, I shared about making long distance relationships work. Because, on top of misunderstandings, fights, and other issues, the distance between the couple adds to the situation. That is why many people believe LDRs don’t really work. Maybe, for some, especially if your love language is physical touch. But, maybe, it does work for only a few lucky couples who happen to have the same level of commitment, patience, and understanding.
I’ve seen people get very hesitant about entering this kind of relationship. In fact, I was in the same position when my boyfriend told me he wants to work overseas. I never even thought my first ever relationship would be like this so I kept overthinking, quietly imagining the things that could happen. All the negative thoughts rushed in and it’s not really a good feeling to have.
In case you’re wondering what it is actually like to be in a long distance relationship, below are some of my real-life experiences. This post is for those who are having a dilemma of whether to stop or continue dating someone who lives on the other side of the Earth. Or, perhaps, just curious about LDR couples and how they survive it.
You’d be sleepless most of the time
Depends really on the time zones and your time differences. But I’d like to talk about couples who live a hundred miles away from each other. Long distance relationship will really challenge your sleeping routine, especially when your nighttime is his daytime or vice versa. Sometimes, one has to sacrifice their precious sleep just to talk to their significant other because you know it’s the only time you both can make it.
In my experience, when my boyfriend was working on a cruise based in the US, I had to wake up at 3 am so we can do a video call during his break as they were not allowed to use mobile phones on duty. Likewise, before he went to sleep (around lunchtime in the Philippines), he usually had to spend at least an hour talking to me – so that left him at least 6 hours of sleep.
It really needs a bit of sacrifice to make it work, to be honest.
Time flies so fast when they’re home
Let’s say your partner decides to visit you, finally, or he goes home for a vacation from work for a month or two. Of course, you’d be excited and all but you will both realize how months have passed so quickly. Everything feels like it all happened just yesterday. He’d be leaving again and you’re back in your old routine. Make the best out of your precious time together! Avoid petty quarrels because you’d regret the number of hours wasted over unnecessary fights.
Special occasions won’t be celebrated together
I feel like this is the saddest part of being in a long distance relationship. Birthdays, graduation, anniversaries, and whatever special occasions you think of – LDR couples, sometimes, don’t get the chance to celebrate all of it together. Thankfully, there are video call apps where you can greet each other and virtually date but you’ll really feel the difference. However, there are couples who still make an effort despite the distance. They manage to send gifts to their partner on these occasions, and I think that’s a commendable gesture.
It’s harder to make up after a fight
Maybe it’s just me but I realized it’s much harder to make up after a fight when you’re geographically away from each other. Seriously, it’s more challenging to fix a conflict when your only means of communication is chat. Words, tones, or silence can be misinterpreted one way or another, and these only make misunderstandings even worse.
You’ll feel envious of other couples
I’d say it’s normal to feel envious of other couples who are physically able to spend their time with each other. It’s a pain that you’ve got to endure sometimes, especially when you’re drunk (just kidding), emotional, and in need of a hug. Oftentimes, you’ll see couples at a party and wish you have your partner with you, too – someone who could also send you home at night. You get the picture.
It’s okay to feel this way but you must not let insecurity steal your happiness. If you’re contented with your long distance relationship, then always think about the happy thoughts. Look at it as a glass that is half-full.
More time for hobbies
Being in a long distance relationship gives you plenty of time for yourself. That’s one of a few good sides of this kind of set up. When you have different schedules, you will have more time to do other things outside the relationship. That includes writing, sports, video games, playing an instrument, etc. When you know they’re busy or asleep on the other side of the world, respect their trust by spending your time on valuable activities and not by cheating, texting, and flirting with other people.
I’d like to add more things but I don’t this post to take much of your time. I hope this post did not discourage you from trying LDR because it’s really just what it is. In my opinion, there’s really no standard when it comes to making long distance relationship work. All those tips about this are generally true, but, at the end of the day, it’s really just about the two of you. It’s teamwork. It’s like learning a new dance routine together without any idea about it, but, after some time, you will both get the hang of it.